Life & Learning, My Story, Relationships & Intimacy

SINGLE MOM LIFE 101: LETTING GO OF OUR MISTAKES

When your child/ren’s father is a deadbeat and seems to be getting off scot free, devoid of the thousands of responsibilities of parenting that we are faced with each day – it can be easy to hold animosity and often the kids are the ones to feel the rocky water between 2 parents.
Fact is – a father who can walk away from his child/ren without ever voluntarily wanting to do something for them is really no loss to the child. If you have to beg your child/ren’s father to see them, or call them or help with them – it is prob best to just let that loser vanish and concentrate on raising that child to be strong, independent, highly educated and to rise above all odds.
We ladies lose so much energy battling our own mistake trying to not let it feel like our mistake! We fked up – we chose a waste man – it’s a fact.
Then we went ahead and slept with him, got pregnant (in my case more than once) and expected to turn a thug in to a family man. Nope, let that loser vanish. There is no way I am encouraging calls more than their usual once or twice per year – even then me and the kids roll our eyes like “why is he calling”?
No animosity, just good family living – don’t want a deadbeat’s money, time or phone calls ladies – why do you want a man who beat you to “forge a bond with his children?” – why want money from a terrorist?
Single moms can do it! We can raise amazing children to be super successful adults without living with anger towards a “man” who is better off not having any influence at all over his own child/ren.
I know it is upsetting when you can’t even use the toilet in piece much less have a day or night to yourself but loser-boy over there buying cars and still chasing girls. But who is really better off? We are surrounded by love and our own miracles all day and the best revenge is to do it all without them while loving every moment of not having to see that mistake on child pickups and drop-offs – some “men” are not worth it.
Kudos to the ladies who chose great men but things just didn’t work out as a couple and ya’all got the perfect co-parenting setup and all that – I wasn’t that selective and went straight to the bottom of the barrel – but I have never allowed that to define who I am as a mother or how I raise my girls and luckily I have been blessed with a truly amazing father for my girls – he never tries to replace their father, but shows them how a father is supposed to treat his daughters and how a man should treat a lady.
Try to never feel angry, used, neglected or rejected if your child/ren’s father decided he is not man enough to help with his children – never lower your ability to be the best parent you can all by yourself if you have to. Your child/ren do not need that kind of negative, irresponsible person in their lives – you got this momma!

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